The Abundance Game
Let’s play a game.
What is your biggest complaint about the way your life is going right now?
Job sucks? Dating sucks? Finding friends sucks? Being bored sucks?
I can work with that!
I was recently coaching my friend Julie, a woman in her late 70’s, who was complaining that she wanted to find a man, you know, male companionship, a potential life mate, but today’s dating world is NOT her cup of tea.
“There are no good men out there, Maryl! And online dating is such a pain! Why bother?”
My idea was that she stop the way she was looking for people to spend time with people and just start talking to them.
So we flipped it.
The game we created for Julie was just this: She had to compliment any male who came within 3 feet of her. If there were no males in that proximity, she had to move closer.
At first, Julie felt kind of awkward, but she started by commenting on a boy’s good manners when he held a door for her. Seeing that he (and his mom!) appreciated her remark gave her the confidence to keep going. She told a man at church how considerate he was for helping her pass out hymnals before the service. Another man in line behind her in the grocery store had on a shirt she admired and she let him know how it flattered him and matched his remarkable eye color. Her words made the men smile, blush, return compliments, walk away with a better day ahead, and she was asked out on three dates! (She accepted only two.)
The game worked and Julie won!
Another client, Brian, was also struggling with dates because he just couldn’t seem to talk to women. Brian is a good looking, professional in his mid 30’s who has a lot going for him, but he felt shy about approaching women and was completely asleep to the women who noticed him.
Challenge accepted! Here comes The Abundance Game.
Brian’s game was super simple too. He had to get the names of 30 women: 10 brunettes, 10 blondes, and 10 redheads. Their age did not matter. All he had to do was ask for first names and he got a bonus if a woman asked him out.
Brian took his time getting the first name, but soon found easy ways to ask.
“Do you mind if I ask your name?”
“Hi, I’m Brian. And you are…?”
“Hi! What’s your name?”
All of this name play was a wake up call for Brian. Very quickly, he became more awake to the women who showed interest in him. His abundance game became fun and light, just like Julie’s!
Brian didn’t quite make it to 30 women in the timeframe we had agreed on. He hit “pause” when he found four he enjoyed spending time with. And, even better, the ladies took the initiative! So did he lose the game? Hardly.
The great thing about The Abundance Game is it’s just in the playing. It’s a no-lose proposition!
What if we play with treating life as a game…one where can play, make moves, see if they work, then refine our playing skills? I’ve applied this approach to more than dating. It’s worked for health and well being, finding and choosing friends, relocating, career planning, post-empty nest planning, and preparing for retirement.
Ok, you say, but what about the hard issues like sadness, feeling unworthy, losing a job, dealing with chemotherapy, someone facing substance abuse, losing a loved one…those times and circumstances that really test and push us to our edges?
Dear ones, you are SO amazing! I’ve watched how you continually bring that take-your-breath-away finesse to your toughest challenges. Your courage takes MY breath away! In my years of mentoring, you’ve shown me over and over again that there are very few situations we cannot play with, either in how we see it or what we choose to do in the face of it. It’s powerful how you have this inherent wisdom to go beyond what you know so you can rise above, grow beyond and consciously evolve.
Even the prospect of death and dying can be looked at in many ways. We can find abundance inside of loss if we are willing to seek it out.
Tell me. Do you agree or disagree with me? Inquiring minds & people who read this blog really want to know!
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